


breakdowns and flower crowns

by PlayerTwoHeere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bets, Bullying, Cuddling, Flower Crowns, Fluff with a dash of angst, Kisses, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pet Names, Post-Squip, Sing alongs, Slight swearing, Spooning, Stuttering, cute stuff, first ‘i love you’, gay bois being gay, jeremy’s anxious, mentions of the f word, michael’s a protective bab, these tags are so out of order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 03:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13941378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerTwoHeere/pseuds/PlayerTwoHeere
Summary: “No.”“C’mon, please, Jer?”“Later, maybe. I’m not wearing it at school, I’ll look ridiculous.”“But it’ll be cute. Please, babe?”~Jeremy’s weakness is pet names and the promise of arcade games.





	breakdowns and flower crowns

“No.” Jeremy said, his arms folded. He looked up at his boyfriend, lips pursed. The two boys were in Michael’s cruiser, and first bell would ring any second. 

“C’mon, please Jer?” The grin on Michael’s face was so huge and full of hope that Jeremy felt his heart melt a little. But he stayed strong.

“Later, maybe. I’m not wearing it at school, I’ll look ridiculous.” Jeremy said, only glancing at the thing in Michael’s hand.

“But it’ll be cute. Please, babe?” Michael’s big brown eyes were wide behind his glasses frames, and Jeremy broke at the pet name.

“Fine.” He grabbed the thing from Michael’s hand, putting it on his head. “There. Happy?”

He felt a blush creep up his neck as Michael’s grin widened. “You look adorable, Jer.” Jeremy’s chin was tilted up to face Michael, who pecked his nose. “If you wear it all day, I’ll take you to the arcade, and you can play anything you want. My treat?” Michael said, raising an eyebrow. Then he leaned forward and kissed Jeremy lightly, his hand moving to cup his cheek, the other fixing the flower crown in Jeremy’s hair.

Jeremy’s blush deepened, making his freckles stand out as he tried to move the strands of ribbon out of his face so he could kiss his boyfriend. The tiny blue ribbons fell into his eyes, tickling his nose. He pulled away, wrinkling his nose. Michael started to laugh. “Sorry, Jer.” He managed to choke out in between giggles. “You’re too cute!”

“I’m not cute, Micah!” Jeremy said, shoving the ribbons behind his ear. Even the tips of his ears are red. 

“Ah, right. Wrong word.” Michael said, grinning at Jeremy as he grabbed his bag. “Adorable is more like it.” He grabbed Jeremy’s hand, pulling him towards the school. Jeremy could feel the stares as the two walked down the hallway to his locker, and he tried hiding behind Michael.

“People are staring, Micah.” Jeremy muttered, trying to hide his face with his cardigan sleeve. His entire face was bright red.

“Because you look fucking adorable.” Michael said, lacing their fingers together. “It’s going to be fine, babe. It’s just a flower crown.” 

Despite all of Michael’s reassurances, Jeremy kept hiding behind Michael as much as he could in the crowded hallway. When they reached Jeremy’s locker, they were greeted with a loud squeal. 

Brooke rushed over from where she was at Chloe’s locker, looking up at Jeremy. “It fits you so well, Jerry!” She said, looking at the flower crown in wonder. “Sorry, Jeremy.” She gave him a slightly nervous smile. 

Jeremy smiled slightly, pushing the ribbons out of his face. Michael grinned at him. “See, Jer? Not that bad.” He squeezed Jeremy’s hand in reassurance. 

Brooke grabbed Jeremy’s other hand. “Come here. We need to get those ribbons out of your face.” She dragged him over to Chloe’s locker, pulling it open to look in the mirror. Jeremy had to slightly bend down so Brooke could reach his head to deftly braid the ribbons into his hair. 

Jeremy had his eyes shut. He didn’t want to see his reflection in the tiny mirror in the locker. He knew he probably looked ridiculous. “There we go!” Brooke said proudly, and Jeremy opened his eyes to look at himself. 

He had to admit… it was kind of cute. And it was blue, the perfect match to his cardigan. A small smile tugged at his lips. He reached up to touch the ribbons weaved into his hair, but Brooke smacked his hand away. 

“Fine.” Jeremy sighed, dropping his hand. “It looks great, Brooke. Thanks.” 

Brooke sidled up to Chloe, nudging her. “Look, Chlo, doesn’t Jeremy look adorable!” She said, grinning. Chloe, who had been silent this whole time, finally looked up from her phone. She saw Jeremy and raised an eyebrow. 

“Nice, Jerry.” Then she looked back at her phone. 

The first bell rang, and Jeremy’s day started. Pacman with Michael was the mantra in his head to get him through the day. The first four classes went fine- History with almost his entire friend group, Lit with Brooke and Jenna, Trigonometry with Christine, and a study hall with Rich. Then he headed to the only class he didn’t have with any of his friends- French.

He settled into his seat, directly in the center of the classroom. He hated this class. The kids on either side of him always made fun of his stutter- they thought he didn’t notice, but he did. He got through the first part of the class with no incidents, but then the boy on his left, Lance, turned around to talk to the girl behind him. Jeremy sank lower in his seat, trying not to be noticed. 

Lance’s voice was low, but Jeremy could pick up every word. “What a fucking t-t-twink.” He said with his fake simpering stutter. He dropped the stutter. “God, does he even realize how stupid he looks? It’s like he’s asking to be made fun of. No wonder he needed that squip thing.” 

Jeremy felt a tightening in his chest, and he tried to keep it down. He couldn’t be made fun of more for running out just for being called a twink. He’d been called that by his friends and Michael so many times, but this time was different. His breathing was quickening. 

Then Jeremy did something he never did- his hand shot up. “Madame, may I g-go to the bathroom?” He stuttered out, staring at his desk. 

Normally, she’d tell him to ask again in French, but she took one look at him and told him to go. Jeremy bolted upright, grabbing his bag and rushing out of the classroom, racing into the bathroom. He could’ve sworn he heard through the buzzing in his ears another whispered word as he left, but it wasn’t one he wanted to think about, even worse than being called a twink. He shut the door, dropping his bag on the floor.

Jeremy looked at himself in the mirror, thankful no one else was in the bathroom with him. His vision blurred with tears that threatened to fall. Everything was too loud, but there was no noise. The silence was deafening. He felt himself start to cry, he couldn’t breathe. His hands were shaking so hard, and he fell to his knees on the floor, scrabbling through his bag for his phone. He somehow was able to see enough to text Michael.

To: Micah <3   
sos, 4th floir bthroom. need yiu

He sent it, not caring about the typos. If anything, it would make Michael come quicker. He curled in a ball, even though it hurt, hiding as far as he could under the sinks. No one came to this bathroom- he knew from experience. He hated asking Michael to leave class for him, but he needed him right now.

Soon, there was a knock on the door and a whispered, “Jeremy?” The door opened, and Michael was there, kneeling next to him. “Oh my god, Jer, what happened?” 

Jeremy looked up at Michael, and even seeing his face made him calm down a little. His breathing was starting to get steadier. “L-Lance. Made f-fun of my stutter and c-called me a t-twink and s-said stuff about the, um, s-s- computer thing and may h-have called me…” Jeremy shook his head, hugging himself. “N-nothing.”

“Jer, what do you-“ Michael’s face changed so quickly to realization, and he stared at his boyfriend, shaking on the bathroom floor. “He didn’t call you that. He couldn’t have.” His voice sounded scandalized. 

Jeremy nodded. “He called me a… f-“ He couldn’t even force out the word, couldn’t say it. 

Michael reached out to Jeremy, asking permission to touch him. Jeremy gave a slight nod, and he was pulled into Michael’s chest, just enjoying being held. Michael gently brushed his hands through Jeremy’s hair, trying to calm him down. “It’s okay, Jer, it’s okay.” 

Jeremy sniffled a little. “Wh-why would you make me wear it?” He muttered into Michael’s hoodie. 

Michael’s hand stopped for a second, freezing in Jeremy’s hair. The ribbons were coming undone. “I didn’t…” Michael sighed. “I thought you’d look cute, I didn’t know that this would happen. I promise.” He pressed a kiss to Jeremy’s head. 

 

Jeremy sighed, feeling his attack start to wear off. His breathing steadied, 

Michael’s voice was quiet and soothing. “You okay now, Jer?” Jeremy nodded, not letting go of Michael. 

Michael checked the time, standing up quickly. “Shit, I’ve been out of class for fifteen minutes.” He worried, but Jeremy grabbed his hand, still on the ground. “Jer, I have to-“

Jeremy bit his lip, looking up at Michael. “M-Micah…” He said, his face white at the thought of returning to class. “I c-can’t.” He looked down, sliding his hand out of Michael’s. 

Michael glanced down at Jeremy. “There’s only four more periods left, you know.” He searched Jeremy’s face. “Alright. Just hold out until next period. Then we can go off campus for lunch, and we just won’t come back, okay? I’ll take you home.” He brushed a ribbon away from Jeremy’s eyes. “If they ask tomorrow, say you got sick and I took you home.” 

Jeremy felt his chest tighten a little, but nodded. He just wanted to go home. He did feel sick, so it wasn’t really a lie. “O-okay.” He stuttered, meeting Michael’s dark eyes. He reached up, running his thumb along Michael’s cheekbone gently before leaning forward to lightly press his lips against Michael’s. “‘M sorry.” He said quietly, tasting his own salty tears on Michael’s lips. 

Michael gave Jeremy a small grin. “It’s fine, Jer. Let’s just get you home, alright?” He kissed his forehead, fixing the flower crown. Then he stood, pulling Jeremy to his feet with him. Jeremy glanced at himself in the mirror, at his tear stained face and lopsided flower crown. The small smile on his face from earlier had disappeared, but he saw Michael watching him in the glass. He gave it a shot, the sides of his mouth quirking up a little. It was shaky and short lived, but a smile nonetheless. 

The bell rang, and Jeremy laced his hand with Michael’s as they slipped out of the bathroom. The crowded hallways were loud, louder than he wanted at that moment. The hundred of students all talking at once made his head pound, and he gripped his backpack strap and Michael’s hand, trying to stay tethered to reality. Michael, thankfully, let him, guiding him through the masses. 

They emerged from the school, out into the open air, and Jeremy felt like he could breathe again. His grip on Michael’s hand loosened, but he wasn’t quite ready to let go yet. He climbed into Michael’s Cruiser, curling in the passenger seat like he’d done a million times. “M-Micah?” He said quietly, looking at Michael. “I l-left my cardigan in my locker and I’m cold.” 

The heat, sadly, did not work in the Cruiser. It was such an old car that not much worked, but it was more than Jeremy had anyways. Michael looked over at his boyfriend, who looked small and pitiful, and sighed. He pulled his hoodie over his head and handed it to Jeremy, leaving him in a plain long-sleeved shirt. “Here.” He said.

Jeremy looked down at the hoodie, then back up at him. “R-Really?” Michael’s hoodie was the one thing of his boyfriend’s Jeremy usually wasn’t allowed to steal and wear. 

“Yeah, you need it more than me anyways.” Jeremy didn’t feel like arguing. He just wanted to stop the excess shivering. He pulled the hoodie on. It was big on him, and the sleeves fell over his hands. He curled into it, enjoying the warmth and comfiness of it. It smelled like Michael, it was almost like being hugged by him. 

The car ride was mostly silent, and Jeremy just watched out the window. He knew Michael was waiting for him to speak, start the conversation. “Michael?” He said quietly. “Can we go straight home? I’m not feeling up to…” He buries his hands in the hoodie pockets. “Social interaction.” He said in a monotone voice.

Michael nodded. “Of course, Jer. I can take you home.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut. Jeremy wasn’t sure what he wanted- noise made his head hurt, but the silence buzzed in his ears. He eventually leaned over, turning on the radio. A familiar song came on over the cassette player, the steel drums and keyboard happier than Jeremy felt, but it wasn’t bad.

He saw Michael’s smile at the song. Michael started humming along, and eventually, he started singing along to the Marley. “Hear the children crying!” He sang, and Jeremy felt a small grin spread across his face. 

Michael gave him a hopeful look, and Jeremy couldn’t help but do what he knew Michael wanted him to. Even if his voice was still a little thick from his recent panic attack, he sang the back up. “One love.” 

Michael’s grin was enough to make Jeremy feel better. This was a familiar practice for the boys. Two years ago, when Michael had first gotten the cruiser, the first thing they had done was get this cassette stuck in the player. They both knew most of the words to the songs and would regularly just drive around with no purpose other than to sing along.

The whole way home, Jeremy’s mood steadily rose, just singing along to Bob Marley with his boyfriend. By the time Michael pulled into Jeremy’s driveway, Jeremy felt almost like himself again. He unbuckled his seatbelt, grinning at Michael. He nearly forgot why he was upset in the first place, but then the music shut off with the car and he remembered. 

He felt the panic come back again, the overwhelming feeling of humiliation washing over him. Michael looked over at him, his easy grin slipping when he saw the way the colour had gone from Jeremy’s face. “You alright, Jer?” He said quietly. 

Jeremy shut his eyes, nodding. “I- Let’s just g-go inside.” He said, his voice shaky. In the blackness behind his eyelids, he thought he saw a flicker of circuits. When he opened them again, Michael was no longer in the driver’s seat. Jeremy jumped a little when his door opened. 

“You were twitching.” Michael said. He reached out his arms, pulling Jeremy towards him to carry him bridal style. Jeremy opened his mouth to protest, but his voice didn’t want to work. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, staying silent. He didn’t want to close his eyes, so he just kept them fixed on Michael, on the curve of his jawline, on the small marks and dimples in his cheeks. 

Michael carried Jeremy inside, closing the car door carefully to avoid dropping him. He took Jeremy all the way up to his bedroom before laying him on the bed. “There we go, Jer-bear. Safe and sound.” He pressed a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead, sliding his arms out from under him. 

Jeremy grabbed at Michael’s wrists, sitting up. “C-can you stay?” He didn’t want to be alone right now. He looked up at Michael’s eyes, feeling his eyes blur with tears. “Please. Just h-hold me.” 

Michael searched his face before nodding. “Of course.” He sat on Jeremy’s bed, pulling him into his lap. He gently worked his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, dislodging the ribbons. “I’m so sorry for this, Jer. I didn’t think what other people would think…” He reached up to pull the flower crown off of Jeremy’s head, but Jeremy, to his own shock, stopped him. 

“I-I like it. I want to keep it.” He said, looking up at Michael’s eyes. Michael looked just as surprised as Jeremy felt. “F-fuck Lance.” He said, wiping at his eyes with the hoodie sleeves. 

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Michael said, pressing a light kiss to Jeremy’s forehead. Jeremy let out a little surprised laugh. 

“Ew, man, that’s gay.” Jeremy said, accompanied by a small sniffle. 

Michael grinned a little. “Dude, we’re gay.” He said, pulling Jeremy closer. Jeremy rested his head on Michael’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He could feel his own slowing to match Michael’s,

“Damn straight.” Jeremy said, looking up at Michael. 

“We’re not.” Michael grinned at Jeremy, moving so he was laying down with Jeremy on top of him. His arms wrapped around Jeremy’s waist, and Jeremy could feel his eyes drifting closed. In Michael’s arms, he felt safe and warm, like nothing could harm him.

“I love you.” 

The silence that followed that statement was deafening. Jeremy started to freak out in his head, wondering if it was too soon to say that- the boys had only been a legitimate couple for a few months. He opened his eyes, looking up at Michael. “I-I mean-“ He was cut off by a sweet kiss, feeling Michael’s hand under his jaw. 

When Michael finally pulled away, his smile was so loving that Jeremy could feel his heart swell. “I love you too, Jeremy.” The small twinge of fear in Jeremy’s stomach dissipated, and he smiled back.

“R-really?” He said, almost hopefully. 

Michael’s eyes behind his glasses frames were shining. “Oh, fuck yes.” His arms around Jeremy’s waist tightened, pulling him even closer. “I love you. I am in love with you, Jeremy Heere.” 

Jeremy felt his heart soar, all memories of breakdowns and flower crowns forgotten in the rush of love he felt. He couldn’t even respond to that. He leaned down, kissing Michael for a long time until they were both breathless. 

“I know I already said this, but I love you.” Jeremy said. Michael turned onto his side, spooning Jeremy, resting his chin on his head over the flower crown. Jeremy’s eyes closed again and he drifted off to sleep in Michael’s arms. And for once, Jeremy felt like everything was right in his world.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this slightly angsty fic. it was really just an excuse to write my boy in a flower crown. 
> 
> if you like my writing and angst, you should go check out my collab fic with my friend PlayerOneMell, In His Eyes. 
> 
> really if you like angst, check out her stuff. i’m the fluff boyf, she’s the angst riend.


End file.
